Funnies About Spring in Northern Michigan

When do monkeys fall from the sky? During Ape-ril showers!

How do you know when spring is here?

the Leafs are out!

My mom called me 4 times in a row and woke me up to tell me this joke.

I'm so excited about spring i wet my plants!

what do you call water that bounces?

Spring water.

An order of monks are selling flowers...

...illegally on the lawn of the Playboy Mansion, Hugh Hefner's property. Instead of calling the police, however, Hugh decides to spring into action and stop them himself. After an intense argument, the monks agree to leave peacefully. If it had been anybody else they would have gotten away with it; unfortunately for them, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Two boys were walking in the forest...

... and they came across the most beautiful women taking a bath in a hot spring. Upon seeing this, one boy took of running, and the other went after him. When he caught up to the other he asked "Why did you run off?". To this the other replied "Well, my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked women I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard!"

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.

Spring joke, An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?

Spring time :D
I'm not funny (._.)

What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived?

He wet his plants.

If Billy Mays were a farmer...

And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.

-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?

John laughs and continues with his drink.

-Why is this funny?

John responds,

-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

You can explore spring april reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spring groundhogs dad jokes. There are also spring puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife.

Both times she said no.

Did you hear the one about the pregnant bedbug?

She gave birth in the spring.

Why does Manny Pacquiao hate Spring so much?

Because of May weather.

I wish labor day was 9 months after spring break

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water

4 college students are having a great time on spring break.

So they decide to spend an extra week away from class. One of the students calls his professor, and says "prof, we are stuck in Daytona beach. We won't be able to make it back in time for exams because the tire on our car blew. We need to get it fixed before we head back".

The prof says "no problem. Your safety comes first. Do what you need to, and when you get back the four of you can write the exam at that point".

So the students live it up for another week. Drinking. Partying. Etcetera.

When they get back to school a week later, the prof welcomes them, sits them each in different rooms, and hands them the exam.

When they turn the page over to start writing, they find their exams have only one question: "which tire?"

How do you get the water in a watermelon?

Plant it in the spring.

What is a mattress' favorite season?

Spring.

What emotion does a tree feel every spring?

Relief

The worst part about spring...

Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction.

What do you call a guy who falls into a Yellowstone hot spring?

Stew.

A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar

The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.

The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.

The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.

The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.

Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"

Finally my winter fat is gone

Now I have spring rolls

How does a tree feel every first day of spring?

Relieved.

Why does Connor McGregor hate the spring time?

Because he hates MayWeather

What did the excited gardener do when spring finally came?

He wet his plants.

I'd like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress?

Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all year.

A tree with anxiety.

A tree had been filled with anxiety and decides to see a psychologist.

"I just don't know what to do," the tree said. "Every year I feel very anxious during fall and winter."

"Hmm, interesting," the psychologist said, "And how do you feel when spring comes?"

The tree smiles, "Releaved!""

[Slinky] When should you wash a stinky slinky?

During spring cleaning

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

Add spring water

Your last spring break?

Three students are sitting in an apartment.

One of them asks: "Where did you spend your last spring break?"

Another replies: "I was in Monaco, partying with the biggest hotties in the world.".

The first one then tells him: "I was gambling in Las Vegas, and I won over 5 million bucks.".

The third student then replies: "And I was in the same shithole as both of you, but I didn't smoke that stuff!".

Why doesn't Conor McGregor like fighting in the spring?

Because of Mayweather

Who is the only Irishman that comes out in the Spring?

Patty O'Furniture

In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.

As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"

Spring is here

I'm so excited I wet my plants

Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back.

What a releaf!

What's the best time to use a trampoline?

Spring time.

What does the writer suffer from each spring?

A case of allegories

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I've had a spring in my step ever since.

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"

Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"

Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"

Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

A man's last meal

So a prisoner is about to be executed and the guards ask him,
What do you want your last meal to be?

Strawberries he responds.

But it's winter. We can't get strawberries until spring

Eh. I'll wait

Best Worst Joke Ever: How do you get water into a watermelon?

You plant it...in the spring!

Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break

On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how stupid you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"

What's the difference between a spring roll and a summer roll?

Seasoning

Did you hear about the Bed Bugs getting married?

The wedding was held in the spring.

So there was a family of moles.

They decided to leave thier burrow to smell the spring air. The father mole poked his head out first and sniffed, "I smell lavender." he says. The mother mole poked her head out as well and said "You're right dear, I smell it too." Their son couldn't fit through the burrow entrance and said "Well, all i smell is molasses."

Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?

She's having a baby in the spring.

How do trees feel in the Spring?

Relieved.

How can you tell the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?

By their seasoning.

I hate spring cleaning.

Damn things bounce all over the place.

What do most people look forward to but most mattresses fear?

Spring Break

Winter is finally over, Spring is here and the trees are full again!

What a re-leaf!

A family of moles

A family of moles awakens from hibernation. The father mole pokes his head out of the hole and says "I smell tulips it must be spring". The mother mole pokes her head out of the hole and says " I smell cherry blossoms it must be spring". The baby mole is trying to squeeze between his parents but gets stuck and says "all I smell is molasses"

Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?

She's gonna have her baby in the spring.

I just want to let everyone know I am in hospital and they are keeping me in.

I have only poisoned myself, what I thought was an onion turned out to be a daffodil bulb.

The doctors said I should be out sometime in the spring!!!

How do you jump higher on a water bed?

You fill it with spring water.

How do you turn a waterbed into a trampoline?

Fill it with spring water.

Everyone seems to think my jokes about spring, summer, and fall are awful.

Oh well. I guess they can't all be winters.

What's the best part about clown college spring break?

Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car

With spring coming, I may buy some wind chimes.

I hear it's a pretty sound investment.

How do you make a water bed bounce?

Use spring water

I can finally lose this winter weight

Now I'll just have Spring rolls.

What did the tree say when spring arrived?